Can you "ace" the bar?

For those spooning with Ben & Jerry and not the other half this February 14, kudos to you for beating back the advances of the temptresses Hallmark, Godiva and all those hypothetical dates. As it turns out, being single takes a lot of work. Those couples have it easy.

Looking back, college was a summer camp, a hub for all things social, where a party was a phone call away and a date was a few fun conversations away. Little do you know that when handed the diploma, you are given a passport to uncharted waters with Facebook, co-ed intramurals, bars and E-harmony (for the desperate) there to keep you afloat.

Plenty of fish in these waters, eh?

For those in years 0 to 3 of a post-college job, you are most likely on the dirt level of the totem pole. Work is heaped on you, some of which can be cranked out by a sixth-grader. But you eagerly pull extra hours and dutifully salute your boss because you’re a soldier and you want a top-notch performance review. So where does that position you in the dating world, great warrior of the workplace?

The options seem limited…

- The bar: a jungle of bodies, mixed drinks and Eighties power ballads. Are some bars fun? Absolutely. At times, however, it feels like you’re searching for something amidst "Journey" and tonics that will never be found.
- The office: Water cooler conversations and ‘working under the same roof’ pride could spark something, but once the embers go chilly, the fallout can be tricky.
- Facebook/E-harmony: ‘I really like you, so I’m going to click my mouse and 'poke' you with a 2-d rose or a pixelated box of chocolates.’ [Cue sarcasm] Nothing seems more chivalrous. And if you’re a knight of the online world, plunk down the dough, Romeo, and discover your soul mate, a.k.a a 60-year-old man posing as an attractive kindergarten teacher, through an Internet dating service. Does that indirectly make Al “I created the Web” Gore your wingman?

The millennial crowd seems to favor text messaging over talking, Facebook ‘group-forming’ over dinner parties and ear buds over eye contact. How are you supposed to date with all that distance? Should you couple up right after college like your parents to avoid the hassle? Or delay until self-discovery is complete and the loans are paid off?

For most of us who take bachelorette/bachelorhood into the “real world”, there is that struggle to enjoy the single life while craving something deeper, especially with engagement announcements and wedding invites making out in front of our faces.

The wait is surely all worth it in the end. But in the meantime, any tips, Mr. Gore?

The shop teacher sage

“You can’t make a fuss if you don’t become a part of it,” said 86-year-old retired shop teacher Don Van Blake as we walked through the streets of Plainfield, N.J., canvassing for Barack Obama.

Five years ago, the only reason I would have watched C-SPAN was if I had trouble falling asleep. Recently, however, I have been following the political scene as closely as the sports page. And one presidential candidate’s challenge to hope and maximize potential has captured my attention.

So I called up “Obama for New Jersey” and volunteered my services on “Super Tuesday,” hyped as the most explosive day in politics since the Burr-Hamilton duel. I wanted to see what this “movement” was all about.

I was assigned to Plainfield and was paired with Mr. Van Blake, a good-humored man who inspired me with his eagerness to climb front steps and engage people at his advanced age. It was an unlikely pairing: an 86-year-old black man going door-to-door alongside a twenty-something white guy in a town that is 60 percent black. Mr. Van Blake reminisced about his work on the 1948 presidential campaign of Henry Wallace, who advocated giving full voting rights to blacks.

What I will take away from Mr. Van Blake was his insistence that he was making a difference. “Never get old,” he kept telling me as he clutched his cane, though his age – or any other supposed impediment – hadn’t seemed to deter him so far.

The rainy weather could have left him saying when he climbed out of bed, ‘I’ll let the next guy handle it,’ but his attitude seemed to be, ‘I am the next guy.’

In my first taste of political activism, Mr. Van Blake showed me that passion and persistence toward a cause trumps any personal uncertainty, uneasiness or doubt. And at a time when few things seem certain, shunning the doubt and insisting on being ‘that next guy’ just might get you through it all. Mr. Van Blake has been through it 86 years and counting...