One of my first tastes of country music was when my dad blared Kenny Rogers’ “The Gambler” on his turntable record player.
In the famous ditty that uses a card game as a metaphor for how to find contentment in life, Rogers croons: “You got to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, know when to run.”
However, he doesn’t mention the gutsy move of going all in; laying all your money and poker acumen on the line in one hand. And that’s too bad. Every so often, I think we need to slide all our chips to the center of the table. Even if we fail, and especially if we fail, it’s a worthwhile endeavor.
And, as I learned recently, the prime time to apply the “all in” mindset is when you’re bowled over by an unexpected romantic prospect.
As I’ve aged, the love-at-first-sight, Cupid’s-arrow-is-out-there view of romance (see Colin Firth’s storyline in “Love Actually”) has been slowly replaced by my increasing belief that the dating world is an absurd version of the game “Telephone.” Misinterpretations run rampant. Finding the “same page” is a frustratingly elusive exercise.
With all that built-up cynicism, what can possibly thaw a heart hardened by the ghosts of romances past?
My answer: Upon meeting someone who arrests your attention and enters a daydream or two, act on it.
Do it. Put yourself out there, without the foggiest idea of how your interest feels. Stop waiting for all the stars to align. Life is not a Disney movie. If you’re like me, and naysaying voices constantly rattle around in your mind, intent on dissuading you, tell them to shut up.
I channeled this sentiment recently and was shot down. She was fun, sunshiney, with my kind of substance. And extremely awesome. The timing, however, was not.
But I tried. As hard as I could. I brought out the big guns, in all their awkward glory. And I’m very glad I did. 100% worth the initial sinking feeling of getting handed the “friend card.”
Exposing yourself to rejection is hard to do. Pride is probably the hardest thing to gamble away. But even more difficult is living with that unfinished feeling in your gut and ignoring the hunch that she might be “The One.”
So get over yourself and your insecurities. Go all in once in a while. Win or lose – and more often than not you’ll lose – you might learn a thing or two about yourself.
In the famous ditty that uses a card game as a metaphor for how to find contentment in life, Rogers croons: “You got to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, know when to run.”
However, he doesn’t mention the gutsy move of going all in; laying all your money and poker acumen on the line in one hand. And that’s too bad. Every so often, I think we need to slide all our chips to the center of the table. Even if we fail, and especially if we fail, it’s a worthwhile endeavor.
And, as I learned recently, the prime time to apply the “all in” mindset is when you’re bowled over by an unexpected romantic prospect.
As I’ve aged, the love-at-first-sight, Cupid’s-arrow-is-out-there view of romance (see Colin Firth’s storyline in “Love Actually”) has been slowly replaced by my increasing belief that the dating world is an absurd version of the game “Telephone.” Misinterpretations run rampant. Finding the “same page” is a frustratingly elusive exercise.
With all that built-up cynicism, what can possibly thaw a heart hardened by the ghosts of romances past?
My answer: Upon meeting someone who arrests your attention and enters a daydream or two, act on it.
Do it. Put yourself out there, without the foggiest idea of how your interest feels. Stop waiting for all the stars to align. Life is not a Disney movie. If you’re like me, and naysaying voices constantly rattle around in your mind, intent on dissuading you, tell them to shut up.
I channeled this sentiment recently and was shot down. She was fun, sunshiney, with my kind of substance. And extremely awesome. The timing, however, was not.
But I tried. As hard as I could. I brought out the big guns, in all their awkward glory. And I’m very glad I did. 100% worth the initial sinking feeling of getting handed the “friend card.”
Exposing yourself to rejection is hard to do. Pride is probably the hardest thing to gamble away. But even more difficult is living with that unfinished feeling in your gut and ignoring the hunch that she might be “The One.”
So get over yourself and your insecurities. Go all in once in a while. Win or lose – and more often than not you’ll lose – you might learn a thing or two about yourself.